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  When I have a rare moment to myself, I lay in bed and think about Edward. I try to think of the good times, about how beautiful he was, his blond hair falling over his eyes just so when he smiled. And our home, our great big beautiful loft. I try to hold on to every last inch of him; his hands with the always-perfect square nails, thin gold band around his third finger; the soft curve where his neck dipped into his chest, and then rose to meet his collarbone; the way he liked everything just so; he would be so pleased when the apartment was clean and everything was in its place.

  But as much as I try, mostly what I remember is the bedroom filled with blood.

  OF COURSE SHE fought at first. They all do. And then they see the possibilities and they’re happy to go along. She could have gone on forever, in her small lonely life. But sometimes the door to a bigger life opens, and it isn’t so easy to say No. You can’t spend your whole life saying No. Sometimes you have to say Yes, and see where it takes you.

  I’MHERSall the time now, and when I see a small slice of the world it’s through her eyes, which used to be mine. Once, some time ago, I caught sight of myself in a mirror. I looked so different, older, but really more beautiful. My hair was thick and it was longer than before, and my skin was creamy and smooth. At night she takes me to the crimson beach by the red sea and we lie down and she wraps her arms around me. She tells me I’m beautiful, that she still loves me as much as she ever did, that she still wants us to be friends.

  “I’ll never leave you,” she tells me, and she jabs with her tongue. “I love you,” she tells me, “I’ll never leave you alone.” And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, really: someone to love me, and never leave me alone.

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